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Submitted on
December 28, 2012
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        "I don't want to put that in my mouth, it looks slimy, nasty, and just not right at all. It's not going to happen so just forget about it." You moved away from the approaching fork, shutting your mouth tight and crossing your arms.

"Oh come on now, it's not so bad. Your hurting me, not wanting to try my cooking." France began poking you on the side of the mouth with the fork. "Now open wide ma chérie, I promise you will like it."

You looked over at the escargot he was trying so desperately to get you to eat, it wiggled, popping it's head out of its shell.. "It's still alive France, I'm not eating something alive." You scrunched up your face, now even more grossed out by the idea than you were before.

France looked like he was trying not to crack up. "Alive, that can't be right, he should be dead." He looked at the mollusc. "Oh, so he is, I suppose they missed one. Good thing you didn't eat it after all." He just shrugged it off and handed the snail to a waiter. "Here, this one is cooked." France held up a new piece for you to sample. "Now open wide."

You looked down at the new snail France was holding. You couldn't even tell it was a snail, it just looked like a shell filled with broth. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. It didn't smell bad either, just like butter and garlic. You could do this. "So I just slurp this out of the shell then huh?" You slowly took the shell from France. "You promise this one's dead?"

France nodded and made a crossing motion over his chest. "Cross my heart chérie. Now eat it before it gets cold." He watched intently to see if you'd actually eat it after his earlier prank.

"Okay, but if it's not dead, you will be." With one big gulp you swallowed down the contents of the shell. It wasn't so bad, but you couldn't get past what you were eating. "There, I ate it, are you happy now?"

"Well that all depends on whether or not you liked it or not. Escargot is only an appetizer you know,  you still have to try out my main course, and dessert."

"It wasn't that bad, but I don't think I'll be making a habit of eating them anytime soon." You were a little scared to ask, but after eating a snail for a snack you thought you'd better. "What's for dinner then?"

"I can't tell you, that would ruin the surprise." He grinned and kissed you on the cheek. "I promise you'll like it though, it won't be anything like the escargot." Dinner came out not long after that, it smelled delicious, though it looked a little odd. France was wearing a mischievous grin that made you second guess digging in. But he was already eating, and he had promised it wouldn't be anything like snails, so you joined him.

It tasted as good as it smelled, but you had no idea what it was. "Can you tell me what we're eating now? I can't quite place the flavor."

"It's Grenouille Provencal. Do you like it?"

You nodded. "Yes, it's much better than the snails. But what exactly is "Grenouille Provencal"? I don't really speak much French you know."

France grinned again. "I know, it's lucky for me you don't too. You're eating sauteed frog legs."
Part one fav.me/d5lhs6p
Part three vampiregodesnyx.deviantart.com…
Part four The Planning Blues. France x Reader

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:iconchocolatmellofangirl:
ChocolatMelloFangirl Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG the dirty things that crossed my mind before I finished the first line....
Reply
:iconpankakecarnivor:
PankakeCarnivor Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Student
Ahahaha me too. I'd actually read this fic before but forgotten.
Reply
:iconray711:
Ray711 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love frog legs! They taste like chicken, sooooo not kidding!
Reply
:iconprincess-shy-fox:
princess-shy-fox Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aw frog legs are awesome! I have always been a daredevil when it came to food, heck I even found out I love squid two days ago! I wonder what escargot tastes like though...
Reply
:iconjadethekidr9:
JadetheKidR9 Featured By Owner May 24, 2014   General Artist
-shrugs shoulders- I eat sushi and frog legs man, you think I care? -continues eating-
Reply
:iconadrianarosabell:
adrianarosabell Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
lovely story, it is very original a creative certainly loved it and I learned  about the stress meals served in France :o (Eek) 
Reply
:iconsmudgethedoggie:
smudgethedoggie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
I love frog legs! My dad had land out in the swamp where we would go get frogs, and he would cook them! ♥ I miss him so much♥
Reply
:iconwafflepigs:
Wafflepigs Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
Awww that's really cute I'm sorry about your dad I miss my dad too he is in the military
Reply
:iconitalianna:
Italianna Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Vee~.......
Okay~a who~a dragged me to France's house~a o3o
Reply
:icondinokittyandwolfgang:
France did it o3o
Reply
:iconfemdenmark92:
Femdenmark92 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014
I knew grenouille is frog in French lol
Bloody frog -_-
Reply
:iconnyxtheflyingkatfish:
NyxTheFlyingKatFish Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2014  Student General Artist
i dont even like the fact of eating a over-sized bird on christmas.XD
Reply
:iconcronusamporaswifey:
CronusAmporasWifey Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2014  Student Writer
the second i saw this title i busted out laughing. im such a pervert; its getting really bad as the years go on xD

but this was very cute hehe~ but i wouldnt eat it im sorry i would literally just throw over the table and be like NOPE IM OUT OF HERE GOODBYE NICE SEEING YOU FRANCIS. c: hehe~ 
Reply
:iconmarneyme:
MarneyMe Featured By Owner May 6, 2014
Okay, so I'm not the only perverted one here then hahaha
Reply
:iconcrazyhetalialover13:
CrazyHetaliaLover13 Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:icontableflipplz:
Reply
:iconhetaliagirl34:
hetaliagirl34 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014
Wow -_-
Reply
:iconkjxyz1234-gmail:
kjxyz1234-gmail Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014
Wow france just wow
Reply
:iconswagwagon101:
SwagWagon101 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
YES MY TWO FAVE FOODS OMF
Reply
:iconlaurenjr:
LaurenJr Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2013
S-Snails and Frogs legs.... NOOOO!! France for the sake of your safety you had better run!!! (Only the french would come up with meals such as Escargot, and while we're on the topic only Americans would make a game such as 7 minutes in Heaven!(Forgive me Americans out there))
Reply
:icondeihina123:
deihina123 Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013  Professional Filmographer
actually filipino also has dishes with frogs, snakes and snails. i ate a dish with snails with them it wasn't so bad. along with frogs
Reply
:iconlaurenjr:
LaurenJr Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2013
*Shivers* How do you do that?! That's impressive my friend, you have guts to try those ;)
Reply
:iconcrazyhetalialover13:
CrazyHetaliaLover13 Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I want to...
Reply
:iconsakuradreamerz2:
SakuraDreamerz2 Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013
I have actually tried frog legs before, they tasted like chicken! XD
Reply
:iconwolf-fangs73371:
Wolf-Fangs73371 Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Eeeeeeewwwwwww! France you're dead!!
Reply
:iconphoebebang:
PhoebeBang Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Titel: "What's in my mouth".. my reaction: Well... a tongue I guess....
Reply
:iconmeowimmanarwhale:
MeowImmaNarwhale Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013
IKR my same reaction XD
Reply
:iconphoebebang:
PhoebeBang Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
xP
Reply
:iconlil-snail:
Lil-Snail Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013
BARSTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the poor froggy die die die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconpackwomen12:
PACKWOMEN12 Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2013  Student
yum yum. eh I think I am going to PUKE! 
Reply
:iconamazingemily9999:
AmazingEmily9999 Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013
I'll eat escargot, but not frog legs...
Reply
:iconsheskaross:
SheskaRoss Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
It tastes sorta like chicken 
Reply
:iconhoodieslenderverse:
HoodieSlenderverse Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
XD SAUTEED FROG LEGS?!
Reply
:iconteamedward4ever1326:
teamedward4ever1326 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013
If I came to that dinner I would throw up before3 getting it down my throut
Reply
:iconshinoharaasahi:
ShinoharaAsahi Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013
Oh come on guys ! I assure you that snails are delicious ~ (<= french %D) (I'm truly serious xD)
Reply
:iconcanadafan08:
CanadaFan08 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013  Student Photographer
Me: *eating the food* *realizes what it is* O-O FRANCE!!!! RUN!!
Reply
:iconannahetalia:
AnnaHetalia Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I think it is great to try new things, but if france forced me to eat this he is gonna die
Reply
:icondj-vaporeon:
Dj-Vaporeon Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I SAW THE TITLE AND WAS LIKE OH GOD XD good ____ x reader though!
Reply
:iconmangagrrlluv:
mangagrrlluv Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
The title and dialogue at the beginning of the story freaked my mom out. I had no idea she as reading over my shoulder. Thanks. XD
Reply
:iconlashawnfonterica:
lashawnfonterica Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013
Title and first sentence need I say more
Reply
:iconpotatolvr643:
potatolvr643 Featured By Owner May 31, 2013
the title... only cuz its france i read this


what
Reply
:iconanimequeen11:
AnimeQueen11 Featured By Owner May 29, 2013
I was browsing and I skipped passed it but when I saw the title I had to make sure I read it right and just...
Reply
:iconatlantisreturns:
AtlantisReturns Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
Frog legs don't taste that bad actually, like salty chicken. Just don't eat it around my dad, he'll give them dying frog voices while you're biting into them until you just can't eat them anymore.
Reply
:iconsasukeisajerk:
sasukeisAjerk Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I read the first part my reaction
:iconfrancenotwantplz:
Reply
:iconfurchild1204:
furchild1204 Featured By Owner May 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
0_0" uhm.... the title....
Reply
:iconhottygirl101:
hottygirl101 Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Student General Artist
Damn it Francey-pants!!!
Reply
:iconmandynoel:
MandyNoel Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
mmmm. . .i wuv escargot. . .
Reply
:iconxxartimisxx:
xXArtimisXx Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Eeeewwww... XP
Reply
:iconbigacc:
BigACC Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Frog legs taste like chicken, escargot tastes like butter, and fried crickets taste like French Fries! Come on guys do judge a book by its cover!
Reply
:icondubstepcat:
DubstepCat Featured By Owner May 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Everything tastes like chicken.
Reply
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