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France Fics by DaughterOfErberus

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Submitted on
December 28, 2012
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        "I don't want to put that in my mouth, it looks slimy, nasty, and just not right at all. It's not going to happen so just forget about it." You moved away from the approaching fork, shutting your mouth tight and crossing your arms.

"Oh come on now, it's not so bad. Your hurting me, not wanting to try my cooking." France began poking you on the side of the mouth with the fork. "Now open wide ma chérie, I promise you will like it."

You looked over at the escargot he was trying so desperately to get you to eat, it wiggled, popping it's head out of its shell.. "It's still alive France, I'm not eating something alive." You scrunched up your face, now even more grossed out by the idea than you were before.

France looked like he was trying not to crack up. "Alive, that can't be right, he should be dead." He looked at the mollusc. "Oh, so he is, I suppose they missed one. Good thing you didn't eat it after all." He just shrugged it off and handed the snail to a waiter. "Here, this one is cooked." France held up a new piece for you to sample. "Now open wide."

You looked down at the new snail France was holding. You couldn't even tell it was a snail, it just looked like a shell filled with broth. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. It didn't smell bad either, just like butter and garlic. You could do this. "So I just slurp this out of the shell then huh?" You slowly took the shell from France. "You promise this one's dead?"

France nodded and made a crossing motion over his chest. "Cross my heart chérie. Now eat it before it gets cold." He watched intently to see if you'd actually eat it after his earlier prank.

"Okay, but if it's not dead, you will be." With one big gulp you swallowed down the contents of the shell. It wasn't so bad, but you couldn't get past what you were eating. "There, I ate it, are you happy now?"

"Well that all depends on whether or not you liked it or not. Escargot is only an appetizer you know,  you still have to try out my main course, and dessert."

"It wasn't that bad, but I don't think I'll be making a habit of eating them anytime soon." You were a little scared to ask, but after eating a snail for a snack you thought you'd better. "What's for dinner then?"

"I can't tell you, that would ruin the surprise." He grinned and kissed you on the cheek. "I promise you'll like it though, it won't be anything like the escargot." Dinner came out not long after that, it smelled delicious, though it looked a little odd. France was wearing a mischievous grin that made you second guess digging in. But he was already eating, and he had promised it wouldn't be anything like snails, so you joined him.

It tasted as good as it smelled, but you had no idea what it was. "Can you tell me what we're eating now? I can't quite place the flavor."

"It's Grenouille Provencal. Do you like it?"

You nodded. "Yes, it's much better than the snails. But what exactly is "Grenouille Provencal"? I don't really speak much French you know."

France grinned again. "I know, it's lucky for me you don't too. You're eating sauteed frog legs."
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ChocolatMelloFangirl Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG the dirty things that crossed my mind before I finished the first line....
PankakeCarnivor Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Student
Ahahaha me too. I'd actually read this fic before but forgotten.
Ray711 Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love frog legs! They taste like chicken, sooooo not kidding!
princess-shy-fox Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aw frog legs are awesome! I have always been a daredevil when it came to food, heck I even found out I love squid two days ago! I wonder what escargot tastes like though...
JadetheKidR9 Featured By Owner May 24, 2014   General Artist
-shrugs shoulders- I eat sushi and frog legs man, you think I care? -continues eating-
adrianarosabell Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014
lovely story, it is very original a creative certainly loved it and I learned  about the stress meals served in France :o (Eek) 
smudgethedoggie Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2014
I love frog legs! My dad had land out in the swamp where we would go get frogs, and he would cook them! ♥ I miss him so much♥
Wafflepigs Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
Awww that's really cute I'm sorry about your dad I miss my dad too he is in the military
Italianna Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Okay~a who~a dragged me to France's house~a o3o
DinoKittyAndWolfGang Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2014  Professional Artist
France did it o3o
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