Legend of Zelda Seven Minutes in Heaven Goron Link

         Midna looked at you and squinted her eyes. Though she didn't want to admit it, she was obviously tired from hosting the game. “I chose you to go next during the break, didn't I? Never mind, it doesn't matter, you're next.”

“If you insist.” You happily waltzed over to the leather bag and pulled out a large, heavy stone. “A rock? Who would use that as their item?” As you stared curiously at the stone, the floor began to rumble and shake. “Oh my gods, there's an earthquake. We're all going to die.” The entire room shook like it might actually collapse. This scared you half to death. It wasn't until the shaking stopped and a large Goron rolled in front of you that you knew what was going on. “Seriously Link? You really scared me just then.”

Smiling wide, the Goron rolled out of his ball like position and stood to his feet. If not for his signature green hat, you wouldn't have been able to tell who your partner was. “Sorry, I just thought it would be kind of fun. And it was.”

No longer terrified over a nonexistent earthquake, the embarrassment kicked in. “Fine, just don't do it again, okay?” Link nodded at your request, took your tiny hand in his massive one and led you into the closet. “Wow, your hands are huge. How did you manage to get used to being so big?”

“I didn't really have any choice in the matter.” Link laughed. “Coping is pretty easy when your only other option is having the moon crash into the world. When you've got a motivator like that, you can learn to deal with just about anything.”

“Oh, well when you put it like that, I guess you're right.” As happy and relaxed as he seemed to be, you had to imagine he was actually under a lot of pressure. “I never even thought of that before.” You felt a little guilty, especially since he'd been a part of saving the world, but you just couldn't see yourself playing this game properly with a Goron. The game was uncomfortable enough when both of the players were the same species. This, unfortunately, was just too much for you.

Without you saying even a word, Link was able to catch on to your feelings. “Calm down. I don't expect you to kiss me.” He placed his hand on his stomach and let out another powerful laugh. “We can just sit here and talk. I don't mind.”

Your face quickly turned a bright shade of pink. “T-that's honestly a big relief. It's not that I'm overly focused on looks or anything like that. But you are kind of a giant rock person.” You smiled weakly, knowing you must sound incredibly rude and shallow. “As rough as your skin is, I might hurt myself even trying to kiss you.”

“That is true. We Gorons are pretty tough and indestructible.” He nodded, completely agreeing with you, and leaned back on his hands. “Besides, who said I wanted to kiss you anyway.” Link slowly started to smirk. “You're way too tiny for a Goron. I'd probably crush you to death with a simple hug.”

“Hey, come on. I was trying to be nice.” His innocent teasing both flustered and annoyed you. It didn't make even a little sense, to you, so you didn't try to figure it out. “You don't have to turn around and act like I'm not good enough you know. It's kind of hurtful in a weird sort of way.” You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed. “And I might be tiny compared to you, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't crush me. I'm not that fragile.”

A sly smile spread across Link's stone like face. You'd fallen straight into his cunning little trap. “Just too fragile to kiss me, right? That makes sense.”

“Man, I should have seen that coming.” Realizing you'd been tricked, you shook your head, stood up and gently kissed his cheek. “There, now don't you dare say you didn't want that kiss. You had everything way too planned out for me to believe that.” Since the turn would be over soon anyway, you remained standing and slowly walked out of the closet.

Link let out a deep, amused laugh. He was perfectly happy with the way things had turned out. “I wouldn't recommend that you try to run from me. If you do, I just might have to cause another earthquake.”