Entertain me Hidan X Reader Oneshot

       “It's perfect out here today.” You took a deep breath in, taking in all the different smells of spring. Today really was just about as perfect as could be. It was sunny, warm and breezy, the best kind of weather for being outside. With there being no way you were going to stay cooped up, you grabbed a small cloth back and made your way into the woods. You were surprised at just how few people were taking advantage of the weather. Walking outside of your village, you found your favorite spot for gathering medicinal herbs. Not surprisingly, the heavy rain you'd been getting all week was making them thrive. As you sat down on your knees, you couldn't help but feel like someone was watching you. You turned your head around, looking all around you, but saw no one. “Shino, is that you? I promise I wont hurt any bugs.” There was no answer. “Guess I'm just imagining things.” Turning back around, you saw a figure almost on top of you.

“You imagine me? How strange. What do you imagine me doing exactly?” The figure leaned down, crushing most of your herbs and stared at you. “Well, out with it, I don't have all day to wait for you.” He'd gotten annoyed with waiting rather quickly. Noticing a large scar across the mans neck, you knew who this had to be.

“You're, Hidan right?” Despite the fear that a member of the Akatsuki was standing right in front of you, you managed to keep your voice steady. “Why are you at the Hidden Leaf?”

Hidan laughed loudly. “You've heard of me then? My reputation must be growing.” He placed his hands on his hips and stood in a proud manner, a smirk across his face. “Anyway, I'm only here because Kakuzu has some business to take care of. He was taking forever, and when I saw you, I figured I could have some fun with you.” He winked. “You wouldn't care to entertain me for a little while, would you?”

You slowly shook your head. “I'd really rather not. Jashin only knows what your idea of entertainment is. And I don't think I want to find out.”

“Hey, hey, what's that about Jashin?” Hidan got leaned back down, moving even closer to your face, half growling at you. “You had better not be using Lord Jashin's name for the heck of it. You're not even a Jashinist, are you? You don't have any markings or keepsakes.” Hidan started searching you for any sign that you might indeed be a Jashinist.

“No, I'm not. I'm sorry already, just stop touching me like that.” You pushed his hands away from you and managed to stand up. “I was just trying to be sociable.”

“By insulting me?” Hidan looked angry for a moment then started laughing like mad. “That's actually pretty funny. You're not half bad, so I wont kill you.” He smirked. “But only on one condition. Kakuzu should be back here pretty soon, so we should make it look like we're fighting. I can't have that old jerk thinking I've gone soft. You up for it?”

You had a feeling you didn't really have much choice in the matter. “Well I.-”

Your sentence was stopped before you'd even started it. “Good, lets get going already. Oh, and one more thing, don't hold back. I expect to bleed a little.” Without giving you anytime to prepare, Hidan lifted his scythe from its holder and quickly prepared to strike you. “Better run girly, I don't plan on holding back either.”

“H-hey, wait a second.” You quickly and easily dodged his first attack, suddenly realizing you had nothing to use as a weapon. “I have nothing to fight you with. There's no way I can even come close to beating you.”

Hidan only laughed at you. “You couldn't beat me anyway, that's what makes this fun. Now stop making excuses!” He rushed for you again, swinging his scythe straight for you. Luckily his movements were very predictable, making it easy for you to dodge his blows. “Stop doing that!” Hidan let out an angry growl and began swinging his weapon without thinking first. His brash, thoughtless actions winded up getting his scythe stuck in the bark of a large tree.

Now was your chance. You jumped up as high as you could and came down quickly, prepared to strike with a straight legged kick. “What's wrong Hidan, you look a little stuck.” Hidan's eyes widened as you descended on him. He was far too slow to move away in time. You kicked him straight in the chest, knocking him flat on his back with a loud thud.

“Now that's what I'm talking about!” Hidan wiped a bit of dirt from his face, jumped to his feet and rushed you again, completely forgetting about his weapon. “You're actually even more fun than I thought you'd be.” He let out an obnoxious laugh as he continued to attack and miss you. “If you would just hold still for a minute, this would be perfect.”

“How very sad, asking your opponent to allow you to hit them. Your skills have dulled Hidan.” Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's scythe from the tree and stepped in between you and Hidan, bringing the fight to a sudden stop.

Hidan growled angrily. “Shut up Kakuzau, no one even asked you. And get out of my way, we aren't finished here.”

“No. Now let's go before your head gets loped off again.” Kakuza grabbed hold of Hidan's ear and began dragging him away. “Besides, you've done quite enough skirt chasing for one day. We have more important things to do.”

“Let go you old idiot. That really hurts, you don't even know how bad it hurts.” Hidan flailed and cursed, only inflicting more pain upon himself. “Can't we at least take her with us, you know, for training reasons? Come on buddy, please. And let go of my ear already!”